Last year when I entered matrimony I entered a new season in my home too - no longer could I live like a slob and have it only annoy the heck outta me. Now it annoys the heck outta hubs too. I commented recently on an article that I am a closet snob and a "rest-of -the-house" slob - my cupboards and drawers are usually to be found immaculately tidy, organised and dust-free, my countertops however are a very scientifical dust experiment so please don't disturb the samples - okay!?
My husband is like patience personified - every now and then he'll have a word - but by and large he puts up with my mess and tries to ignore it. Alas I'm better at ignoring it physically while allowing the stress of it to eat me alive. Peter Walsh (organisey guy from Oprah) says that clutter in your house adds weight to you and whilst I'm having some small success with the physical clutter, the mental baggage and excess weight are building (if I lose five stone - 70lbs, I'll be grand - haha).
Time once again for a new leaf but this time I'm not going it alone - it's time to sit down and talk to the hubs about just how much junk I eat and will he help me in this renewed effort to lose weight. I'm going to join up to Slimming World also which another friend goes to BUT most importantly of all I'll be seeking supernatural help in this quest to get my health back-on-track.
Please remember in your prayers as I seek to tackle emotional baggage instead of eating it into submission and as I attempt to reform my eating habits (I feel I should mention that I do eat all the healthy greens but I add all the junk on top).
Tomorrow we have family coming for an end-of-summer BBQ, I'll be trying to steer clear of the calorie laden creamy coleslaws and potato salads and the yummy looking desserts and will be making the effort to eat three small meals across the day and from now on rather than continually grazing and overeating. I've forgotten what hungry feels like and it's high-time I remembered.
Lord as I consider the long road to health ahead of me, please remind me of the ultimate goals, as a fitter, healthier person I'll be better able to live my life for You and complete those tasks You have given me to do such as running my home and taking care of husband. Thank You for Your grace in bringing me to the realisation of my need of help. Please grant me strength of character as I face the temptations of emotional problems, mental health, fear of change, laziness and lack of willpower. Lord You know how my recent weight problem has affected my life and how it threatens to drag me further from Your path, help me to correct this course. Amen
The new recipe is as difficult as it is simple - move more, eat less and eat better. Simple and so hard. I haven't done much of anything physical for nine years, I'm extremely out of shape (my breathing is affected simply climbing the stairs to our front door or completing a simple household or work-related task). I am class two obese with my shape now causing me problems with simple tasks such as putting on footwear (I'm mainly listing these things as a shaming exercise for myself). I've put on two stone (14lbs) in about a year-and-a-half and was even struggling before this last big increase so now is the time to turn the tide.
On Monday I plan to purchase some (second-hand) clothing to tide me over until I have reduced my weight as the clothes I own which just about fit will not carry me through the changing weather. I have a wardrobe of classically beautiful trousers and skirts (many from my Mum's friend after her recent weight loss) and it would be such a self-esteem booster to get to wear them soon. AND I WILL wear them soon!!!!
For the first time I've been watching the biggest loser USA, when the series began (in my being ignorant of my true weight and size) I was so judgemental of these larger than average folk (truly a time of being judgemental of myself) and as the series continues I weigh more than the lighter contestants. In my head I'm still that skinny self-conscious little girl, in reality I'm an fat mess who is barely able to function as a result of weight gain. I'm not carry me out of the house on a forklift heavy but I may as well be, I've increased my self-esteem issues, increased my potential for health problems and I'm finally catching up to the reality that I need help.
I'll be booking in with the doctor on Tuesday for a full health check and chat about my weight problems. Today is a new day and I will beat this!
Be back soon with an update on this and on the decluttering challenge that continues apace.
Blessings to you all, being able to vent here and learn here in the blogosphere from wise women has really lifted me on manys-a dark day. Thanks
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